I know so little.
I realize this is the stage one usually finds themselves in after college, but really, I know so very little.
I didn't see this one coming, with all of my effort to know at least some of all.
As you can draw from these words, I do not have much to write about.
I have been praying for God to make some decisions for me.
I am living a blessed life with little direction, but indeed blessed.
I saw 5 red leaves today. Where did the time go?
Thursday, August 21
Wednesday, August 13
an aerial view
after being on the airplane for hours today, I wish to make some art about the neat way land is ploted. Even in what seems like the middle of no-where, there are clean lines dividing property and different kinds of growth. It just seems funny to me that the land below from west to mid-west looks consistenly planed and organized,as if one person charted it. The jagged mountains here and there are a nice break. In addition to this tour of land I looked at differently today, I noticed the magnificence of clouds. I remember years ago I was disappointed when the plane could pass through them effortlessly, I had wanted them to be full enough to jump on, but today this became incredible to witness. These cotton candy forms hold this unique shape while also moving. And we can pass through these water droplets without feeling anything! And the angle at which I saw some clouds today was very interesting. I think the side view was my favorite, I could see the almost flat bottom floating with bellowing mashed poatoes atop. I will post the art when it is produced. It was the neatest roller coaster (of love). And I will need a new Riddlers' Revenge anyway now that Magic Mountain is closing.
I was on the airplane today because I went home! I first flew into Seattle and met Tori at the airport. We flew in a couple days early to help and thoroughly enjoy spending time with Claire before her wedding to Nate on Saturday. I was on a healthy-eating break. All the food was fantastic, and more local, well-roasted coffee than you could ask for. We ran wedding errands, visted roommate Kristy selling berries at the Olympia farmers' market, enjoyed the fresh air smelling of pine, loved visiting with the love birds' families, had such a fun bachelorette night on the town including so much dancing the night away, ending at a diner called the Reef. We don't really know why the Reef is called the Reef besides the one fish tank on the back wall, but the twelve of us entered, really wanting pancakes and bacon. After we ordered the chef informed us that from 2-3 breakfast was no longer served, but lunch was. hmmm, fries and a shake it was. The wedding was perfect. really. I will let those two tell you more. I now understand why we have receptions. The people gathered, who all love the bride and groom, want to spend more time together to celebrate the nice engagement that took place, the party can't be over. Well we felt this way even after the reception and spent the last night in Olympia well. I brushed up my new dancing skills once more and finally received my pancakes and bacon from the Reef.
Caleb drove a van full of us drove down to Portland the next day. We visted some friends at a church Chad works at, called Adsideo. On this Sunday there just happened to 25 friends from different times and places who were attending. I was reminded of what a blessing it is to know and be known and to run into people who when you spend time with them, you leave thinking "why can't I be with them more often?"
My mom, sister and I then enjoyed a drive to Nampa, along the Columbia most of the time. At the McDonalds in Baker City, I ran into two people I knew, man was I getting closer to home.
My next two days in Nampa/Boise were wonderful. Truly. Because I have already written a lot, don't have pictures yet and am anxious to get back to a sleeping pattern that consits of more than 2-4 hours, this will be all of my reporting of the trip for tonight.
As you might have guessed after a visit I am confused about what my new home should look like. But while confused I enjoyed a dinner with the beautiful family I have here in Kansas, my other home. And for today felt at peace.
I was on the airplane today because I went home! I first flew into Seattle and met Tori at the airport. We flew in a couple days early to help and thoroughly enjoy spending time with Claire before her wedding to Nate on Saturday. I was on a healthy-eating break. All the food was fantastic, and more local, well-roasted coffee than you could ask for. We ran wedding errands, visted roommate Kristy selling berries at the Olympia farmers' market, enjoyed the fresh air smelling of pine, loved visiting with the love birds' families, had such a fun bachelorette night on the town including so much dancing the night away, ending at a diner called the Reef. We don't really know why the Reef is called the Reef besides the one fish tank on the back wall, but the twelve of us entered, really wanting pancakes and bacon. After we ordered the chef informed us that from 2-3 breakfast was no longer served, but lunch was. hmmm, fries and a shake it was. The wedding was perfect. really. I will let those two tell you more. I now understand why we have receptions. The people gathered, who all love the bride and groom, want to spend more time together to celebrate the nice engagement that took place, the party can't be over. Well we felt this way even after the reception and spent the last night in Olympia well. I brushed up my new dancing skills once more and finally received my pancakes and bacon from the Reef.
Caleb drove a van full of us drove down to Portland the next day. We visted some friends at a church Chad works at, called Adsideo. On this Sunday there just happened to 25 friends from different times and places who were attending. I was reminded of what a blessing it is to know and be known and to run into people who when you spend time with them, you leave thinking "why can't I be with them more often?"
My mom, sister and I then enjoyed a drive to Nampa, along the Columbia most of the time. At the McDonalds in Baker City, I ran into two people I knew, man was I getting closer to home.
My next two days in Nampa/Boise were wonderful. Truly. Because I have already written a lot, don't have pictures yet and am anxious to get back to a sleeping pattern that consits of more than 2-4 hours, this will be all of my reporting of the trip for tonight.
As you might have guessed after a visit I am confused about what my new home should look like. But while confused I enjoyed a dinner with the beautiful family I have here in Kansas, my other home. And for today felt at peace.
Friday, August 1
okay okay
(in reference to the previous post)
4 days later and 4 shifts later, I really enjoy my temporary job. And that is probably good, realizing it may have to be more than temporary. I am thankful. The qualities I praised the Boise store for, still stand, but I appreciate the Kansas City store for new reasons. I enjoy many of the people I work with, I now have a grasp on how they run things and this seems small, but I was trained at the cash register! I have practiced scanning items since I was 4 with my fisher price shopping cart, it is my favorite zone to work. I left Nampa and Boise where I routinely interacted with around 10 groups of people, and these ladies at Anthropologie have become a new group, sort of a community- I see them 4-5 times a week. And I am thankful for the familiarity.
I am now at a LatteLand. A local coffee shop around the corner from work. I have had maybe 5 espresso drinks in a whole month, but when lifestyle permits, this will be more regular, now that I found a new flying m. The aesthetics are not the same, I cannot call 5 baristas close friends, and this is not called Jesus-Land, as the Nampa Flying M was sometimes referred to as Jesus-M. I think this nickname came from the heavy protestant/Nazarene/LDS crowd who frequent flying M. I loved this because this meant catching up with a few friends each visit and often times sharing biscotti with my grandparents, but I don't mind the non-Jesus LatteLand one bit. I was actually taught a lesson. Upon my first visit, it looked like the girl making my drink would take a while to warm up to me. I assumed. I was corrected. She was very friendly and asked all about Boise. I assumed someone would be judging me, and really I was the only one judging. The next time I came in, one of the baristas asked "So why did you move here from Utah?" I did correct him, not wanting to be from Utah, but close enough.
Design firms are not really hiring, but I will follow up with all of them this week. I am trying my hardest to be okay with the unknown. And I have the truest blessing of friends I will continue living with until September.
I enjoy hearing from all of you and hope we may all enjoy the end of summer.
4 days later and 4 shifts later, I really enjoy my temporary job. And that is probably good, realizing it may have to be more than temporary. I am thankful. The qualities I praised the Boise store for, still stand, but I appreciate the Kansas City store for new reasons. I enjoy many of the people I work with, I now have a grasp on how they run things and this seems small, but I was trained at the cash register! I have practiced scanning items since I was 4 with my fisher price shopping cart, it is my favorite zone to work. I left Nampa and Boise where I routinely interacted with around 10 groups of people, and these ladies at Anthropologie have become a new group, sort of a community- I see them 4-5 times a week. And I am thankful for the familiarity.
I am now at a LatteLand. A local coffee shop around the corner from work. I have had maybe 5 espresso drinks in a whole month, but when lifestyle permits, this will be more regular, now that I found a new flying m. The aesthetics are not the same, I cannot call 5 baristas close friends, and this is not called Jesus-Land, as the Nampa Flying M was sometimes referred to as Jesus-M. I think this nickname came from the heavy protestant/Nazarene/LDS crowd who frequent flying M. I loved this because this meant catching up with a few friends each visit and often times sharing biscotti with my grandparents, but I don't mind the non-Jesus LatteLand one bit. I was actually taught a lesson. Upon my first visit, it looked like the girl making my drink would take a while to warm up to me. I assumed. I was corrected. She was very friendly and asked all about Boise. I assumed someone would be judging me, and really I was the only one judging. The next time I came in, one of the baristas asked "So why did you move here from Utah?" I did correct him, not wanting to be from Utah, but close enough.
Design firms are not really hiring, but I will follow up with all of them this week. I am trying my hardest to be okay with the unknown. And I have the truest blessing of friends I will continue living with until September.
I enjoy hearing from all of you and hope we may all enjoy the end of summer.
Monday, July 28
you know that dumb song.
the one that fourteen people have covered, "don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got till it's gone..." (shoo, bop, bop, bop) comes later in Amy Grant's version.
I dislike what this song says because it's implying that we don't appreciate anything while we have it...which I have been guilty of at times. so, for a few years I have tried as much as possible to enjoy every thing in the moment, because as we all know paradise could one day be paved into a parking lot.
And I have no regrets for the soaking up of the treasure valley that took place before I left. But there was one thing I didn't know to prepare myself for. The Boise Anthropologie is run so much better than the Kansas City store! Which, if I was shopping, I could deal with, but I am working, and right now, this is my only work, so the awareness is heightened. I won't complain much longer, but I do want to congratulate the Boise store for the way they run things, the kind, efficient people who work there, the incredible "up to code" status, the cleanliness, the organization & layout, the duties divided, the art team, the relaxed atmosphere that still gets things accomplished, etc... They have got it going on.
And a small portion of that fond memory could be that the store is in fact in Boise, and I keep waiting for my friend and her lovely daughter to walk in, or I think I see my grandma perusing the homewares, then I realize I am in a different place.
Not to worry, I have had some fun at this new store, I just wanted to give Amy Grant, and the actual writer of that song, and the slew of other coverers a tally on their side. This time I didn't know what I had until it was gone.
I dislike what this song says because it's implying that we don't appreciate anything while we have it...which I have been guilty of at times. so, for a few years I have tried as much as possible to enjoy every thing in the moment, because as we all know paradise could one day be paved into a parking lot.
And I have no regrets for the soaking up of the treasure valley that took place before I left. But there was one thing I didn't know to prepare myself for. The Boise Anthropologie is run so much better than the Kansas City store! Which, if I was shopping, I could deal with, but I am working, and right now, this is my only work, so the awareness is heightened. I won't complain much longer, but I do want to congratulate the Boise store for the way they run things, the kind, efficient people who work there, the incredible "up to code" status, the cleanliness, the organization & layout, the duties divided, the art team, the relaxed atmosphere that still gets things accomplished, etc... They have got it going on.
And a small portion of that fond memory could be that the store is in fact in Boise, and I keep waiting for my friend and her lovely daughter to walk in, or I think I see my grandma perusing the homewares, then I realize I am in a different place.
Not to worry, I have had some fun at this new store, I just wanted to give Amy Grant, and the actual writer of that song, and the slew of other coverers a tally on their side. This time I didn't know what I had until it was gone.
Wednesday, July 23
welp
I finished my portfolio. It is now in the hands (digitally speaking) of some trusty critiquers and tomorrow, will be in the hands of strangers, from who I am, in a way, begging for a life. I have slowly been getting over this odd transition- going from a small, known, safe, motivating, encouraging art department who knows what you are capable of and asks you to participate, to a new city full of design, but no one making sure I am one of the ones contributing or giving me a job. That last sentence was not supposed to be full of gloom! Well, we shall see what happens after the true pursuit. It has been good for me to become aware of how important the motivation behind creating something is. I still enjoy design, and right now that is enough.
Part of me, well a lot of me was worried about how I would continue learning, now being out of school. I am planning on graduate school, but I was told to get some experience and decide what narrow part of creating I love, before I go spend money and time. But the idea of being removed from a learning environment where you are stimulated by the knowledge and minds around you is frightening to me. My entire life, through school or with people I met through school, I have gradually been stepping deeper and deeper into different disciplines, exposed to new ideas and old ideas and the discussion of those things. And now, do I have to stop? I won't have assigned reading or discussion boards or questioning in class.
BUT! What I am offered is a choice to continue that on my own. Taking the advice of a friend, I want to take a liberal arts approach to living and learning. Without homework in the evenings, I can use that time to read books of contemporary art and the creation of a pretty typeface. But not just that! Just as I could take a theology class and a welfare policy class amidst my art classes during my undergrad, I can read other things I know little about, but that will inform me and challenge me in a different way! After this non-fiction I am currently reading, I could read books about food, maybe Ron Paul's book about the constitution and how that can shape our today, or the background on Orthodoxy, or that book on the origin and meaning of Haikus that my friend read.
And not only will I attempt for my reading to follow a liberal arts way of thinking, but I hope in meeting new people (a fitting time for this), I will try to learn about the passions and pursuits of others, because there is probably something to learn from the reasons they have chosen to live and that makes them who they are.
As I was thinking about this, I realized I am surrounded by so many thinkers and learners. I am so grateful for you, and I am excited to hear about what you think as you read and experience and live.
Part of me, well a lot of me was worried about how I would continue learning, now being out of school. I am planning on graduate school, but I was told to get some experience and decide what narrow part of creating I love, before I go spend money and time. But the idea of being removed from a learning environment where you are stimulated by the knowledge and minds around you is frightening to me. My entire life, through school or with people I met through school, I have gradually been stepping deeper and deeper into different disciplines, exposed to new ideas and old ideas and the discussion of those things. And now, do I have to stop? I won't have assigned reading or discussion boards or questioning in class.
BUT! What I am offered is a choice to continue that on my own. Taking the advice of a friend, I want to take a liberal arts approach to living and learning. Without homework in the evenings, I can use that time to read books of contemporary art and the creation of a pretty typeface. But not just that! Just as I could take a theology class and a welfare policy class amidst my art classes during my undergrad, I can read other things I know little about, but that will inform me and challenge me in a different way! After this non-fiction I am currently reading, I could read books about food, maybe Ron Paul's book about the constitution and how that can shape our today, or the background on Orthodoxy, or that book on the origin and meaning of Haikus that my friend read.
And not only will I attempt for my reading to follow a liberal arts way of thinking, but I hope in meeting new people (a fitting time for this), I will try to learn about the passions and pursuits of others, because there is probably something to learn from the reasons they have chosen to live and that makes them who they are.
As I was thinking about this, I realized I am surrounded by so many thinkers and learners. I am so grateful for you, and I am excited to hear about what you think as you read and experience and live.
Tuesday, July 15
less of a good thing etc...
This was yesterday's lunch. Smaaaaall portions. Melissa and I, as of Monday, are counting calories. woo-hoo. I absolutely love my food. A perfect day to me is great food with great talk, so this counting and awareness is quite the change. But now knowing that a heath blizzard (which I would gladly run and get once one of my roommates was also craving one last year) is 1/2 of the calories we are supposed to have in a whole day (!), I now know how unhealthy I am and this discipline will be a good thing. I think I will eat carefully throughout the day, saving room for dinner, the great reward. I now understand the concept and people's attachment to diet soda. I was looking on the lable last night after I had filled the daily quota,and diet coke is zero everything! I have no idea what the 12 ounces do consist of, but I don't really want to know for another week or so. (oh and if I do well for 6 days, Sunday will be a day of rest, seconds, blizzard and all.)
I am reading the New Kings of Non Fiction, compiled and introduced by Ira Glass. It is wonderful. If you have listened to Glass' radio show, This American Life, then you are familiar with his tone and what he finds important in a story or report. It is so enjoyable and informative to read these short stories or excerpts from essays from some of Glass' favorite contemporary authors who interview the true person behind some commonly known and some uncommon stories. In the introduction, Glass celebrates,
"There's a cheerful embracing of life in this kind of journalism, and a curiosity about the world... It's the pleasure of discovery, the pleasure of trying to make sense of the world."
My good friend Todd spoke at a church in a nearby suburb this last Sunday evening. I tagged along and was surprised and impressed to be a part of such a genuine, seeking church for the evening. Although numbers of a congregation do not tell the value of a church, I was simply surprised that 600+ young adults kept walking into the sanctuary on a summer Sunday evening in the middle of a residential area. They wanted to be there. It was a joy to be a part of the worship and meet some very kind people. I have become so skeptical of the drive of post-modern churches, but it was evident they were there to serve the Creator.
Brennan, my 4-year old friend I am living with and am so thankful to be re-united with told me yesterday when he was frusterated that no one would play the game he wanted, in a very sure, confident voice that "Kylee, I have all my fault, all your fault, and my mom's fault, and Landen's fault, and everybody in the world's fault!" I said "That is so nice of you to take that for me!" and we played something else. This is another cute stage, when they know all words, but not exactly all the common phrases or how to pair them together.
I finally get my first shift at the Kansas City Anthropologie tomorrow, I am babysitting for some church people Friday morning, working on freelance projects and working on my portfolio....and enjoying summer. Although I technically don't get those ever again.
happy July!
Karla, hi! Please take Kadyn to visit Chris at Spicer Bros. while she is in Portland this week! and enjoy a nectarine for me, on the house...and speaking of produce, I now know how to properly cut a pineapple
Thursday, July 10
oh the heat is so heavy
but I'll take it over that 7 month cold wind.
Well it's almost been two weeks. It went by fast. I feel a lot of pressure as a designer, just realizing how persistent and impressive I need to be in a quiet non-hiring season. But I also have new inspiration to be good now, to give them great work now- not just enough to get a job. I am so grateful that art and design still inspires me to create, not only to make a living. Although, I very much dislike that I need a job in a competitive field in order to survive. I would love to go back to school. Anyway, I thought I should catch you up on that since that is what we do after college. I made a large graph on butcher paper of all of the places I would like to work and the details concerning them. Butcher paper always helps relieve some stress.
The 4th, though a while ago was one of the nicest of days. It began with a scooter ride on a coolER day, with Kristin to retrieve some of the best hummus I have had at Jerusalem Cafe. We were almost smashed, but I did not scream. I then headed to a day-long barbecue at the Frye's in Olathe, filled with Rook, great food, croquet, strawberry shortcake on the porch, and wonderful, stimulating conversation from a unique mix of friends, and friends of friends, and acquaintances. I am continually encouraged when I meet people who consistently seek to grow in knowledge and in a quality of living. The table was filled with artists of all kind, passionate about their field and excited to hear about another's. A pleasant and peaceful holiday.
(Though I heard I missed even my grandparents climbing to the roof of Student Development for the viewing of fireworks- darn.)
I am now living with the Fryes for the rest of the summer search and it is wonderful! We are catching up, cooking, playing, enjoying...and Brennan (4) comes to wake me in the morning so we may share cereal together.
I haven't been to a coffee shop for a week. I am relieved that my pretty much daily habits were habits of taste and community, not of a caffeine addiction. (I've only had one cup of drip and a couple glasses of tea at home this week.)
AND I won in Nerts tonight.
Well it's almost been two weeks. It went by fast. I feel a lot of pressure as a designer, just realizing how persistent and impressive I need to be in a quiet non-hiring season. But I also have new inspiration to be good now, to give them great work now- not just enough to get a job. I am so grateful that art and design still inspires me to create, not only to make a living. Although, I very much dislike that I need a job in a competitive field in order to survive. I would love to go back to school. Anyway, I thought I should catch you up on that since that is what we do after college. I made a large graph on butcher paper of all of the places I would like to work and the details concerning them. Butcher paper always helps relieve some stress.
The 4th, though a while ago was one of the nicest of days. It began with a scooter ride on a coolER day, with Kristin to retrieve some of the best hummus I have had at Jerusalem Cafe. We were almost smashed, but I did not scream. I then headed to a day-long barbecue at the Frye's in Olathe, filled with Rook, great food, croquet, strawberry shortcake on the porch, and wonderful, stimulating conversation from a unique mix of friends, and friends of friends, and acquaintances. I am continually encouraged when I meet people who consistently seek to grow in knowledge and in a quality of living. The table was filled with artists of all kind, passionate about their field and excited to hear about another's. A pleasant and peaceful holiday.
(Though I heard I missed even my grandparents climbing to the roof of Student Development for the viewing of fireworks- darn.)
I am now living with the Fryes for the rest of the summer search and it is wonderful! We are catching up, cooking, playing, enjoying...and Brennan (4) comes to wake me in the morning so we may share cereal together.
I haven't been to a coffee shop for a week. I am relieved that my pretty much daily habits were habits of taste and community, not of a caffeine addiction. (I've only had one cup of drip and a couple glasses of tea at home this week.)
AND I won in Nerts tonight.
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