Wednesday, July 18

fish are jumping and the cotton is high

I am realizing there are two kinds of summers. Well three. Two common types of summers as you are transitioning into adulthood.
There's of course the summer of a child in a pool, with a couple weeks of camp, mosquitos and the constant smell of barbecue. The carefree summer of a child is where the ideal of summer comes from. But headed towards reality I am realizing there were two common kinds of summers.
One that is planned as a dream of relaxation with no responsibility. A summer where you take a job as a part-time barista and clean a couple of classrooms- the bare minimum, because this is your summer, your time, a break. About three weeks into this kind of summer you become disgusted with boredom, daytime television and the walls of your house. You long for things to need to get done, routine, tasks, a role to fill that consists of more than pouring steamed milk over two shots. You tell yourself to soak it up, thinking 'I'll miss this', but really the kiddie pool summer now feels a little cramped.
There's another kind of summer. One where you apply, audition, pay for and hope for that ambitious opportunity. Because that is what it would look like to take advantage of all that this speedy world has to offer. Right? But a couple weeks into the 12 hour a day sports camp, honors classes that cram a year's worth of content into a month and a 1/2 or in my past case, traveling to a different town each day promoting a school you forgot you actually attended and not only sold. These summers seem more draining than rewarding- until the end when you look back. But would you go do it all over again? And you decide to sign up the next year, because why not? Why not stretch yourself? You're supposed to do something. Achieve something. Or maybe you think of the alternative and you feel less guilty choosing the latter.
Is this what summer has become? Is this what rodeo cheering, fair riding, crickets listening, ice cream truck running, lemonade sipping summer has become?
I thought so. I unknowingly narrowed summer down into these two options.
Then there is this other kind of summer. A time when you're not thinking about what would be better. A time you're not thinking about what is over there, someone else's position, or what comes next.
Because you want to be right where you are. A place where you're discovering you really do enjoy and are able to do what you've decided to do. A time when you would be okay with extending the weeks some. A summer with people around you who love so well. A summer when you're learning because you want to. A summer that even includes of couple of evenings of boating, when you can't help but smile because of how beautiful it is. A summer you know won't happen this way again. A summer you want to freeze. A summer I am blessed to call mine, for right now.

5 comments:

Sherry said...

I got chills reading this. I love it. I'm so excited for you that this worked out so well. You sound so content and that can so often be hard to come by. Yeah for you!!

A brief bio said...

There's a good mind at work here Kylee! Neat to hear your observations about your summer and summers in general. We're thinking about you!

Tori said...

your book cover is my favorite, so beautiful! i showed it to this girl i just met at flying m and she was really impressed. totally cute pic too, even if you are holding a gun. i loved your thoughts about summer. i can't believe you put it into words so well. you're spot on, friend.

Anonymous said...

You seem so content and happy. It makes me happy when I read your blog! Love you kylee.
Jess

Anonymous said...

loved your thoughts and reflections on summer, friend. so well done--and so true. and I'm so glad you're having that kind of summer
-claire